I’m dictator in here.

I am Gaddafi and the Ayatollah Khomeini. I’m Osama bin Laden if you want me to be. Hang me, gas me. Shoot me three times in the head. I’ll always come back for more. I’m like syphilis rotting your dick even if you’re a chick. I’m the cancer you just can’t kick. I’m the lab rat who should never’ve been. I’m the next pandemic.

But, however, on the other hand too, I am fresh butter melting on toast. I’m a child laughing and a butterfly sunning itself.

If only there were something I’m not. I’m the lies crowding your brain. I’m the silver-tongued serpent whispering sweet nothings in your glistening ear. I’m the cloven-hoofed salesman promising eternal life.

Look at me. Does it look like I could do you any harm whatsoever? All you gotta do is stop reading.